Back Again

Monday 23/08/10
I think everybody has that fear when they pass through an airport: Will I make the flight on time? Will I get through customs without being searched? Will I get anything confiscated?I usually have these thoughts too but nothing ever happens. This time however, after queuing for over an hour, the man at the check-in desk said "I'm sorry sir, I'm afraid you can't fly without a visa or a return ticket."I explained that I had been told that the rules had changed. Not the part about barring people with single tickets, it seemed. So, a very nice EVA man sorted me out with a ticket to Manila, which I could refund once I got to Taiwan. After that I got to the front of the bag search que and despite taking out all flammable and sharps objects, I was dismayed to see a sign "no liquids over 100ml". That was my whole wash kit! Steve Thorpe who had escorted me to the airport, eagerly collected the many toiletries that I had to leave behind. We had time to down a sandwich before boarding the B777. The plane was EVA green on the inside, but comfortable... which was good, because we didn't take off for another hour... Heathrow ques! I was wondering who I might be sat next to... I was jumping for joy when a couple of Cockney builders sat down (stopping off at Thailand).
There was plenty of things to keep me entertained on flight. 27 movie channels, 30 music, computer games, crosswords, sudoku: all on the interactive screen in front of me.
I got about 5 hours interrupted sleep on the plane. The food got more Chinese the closer we got. Omelet for breakfast on top of waffles and syrup. mmm!
Tuesday 24/08/10
When I finally got to Taipei airport, the sniffer dogs approved my rucksack and customs seemed happy with my new ticket and stamped it. As I walked into the foyer, hundreds of people were waving signs with names on. I couldn't see mine anywhere. My suitcase was so heavy I didn't really want to go round a second time. Eventually there it was "James Duncan Smith" Close enough! The taxi man took me and 5 others into his minibus and we started the 2 hour drive to Yuanlin. A old lady and her daughter started interrogating me about why I was here and why i didn't speak Chinese after already living here for a year.
I managed to get the taxi to Pascal's house mainly through hand gestures at every turn. Arrived at about 11:45. Pascal opened the door and offered me a whisky; gladly received it was. I was sleeping in the 'gym' room as it was a full house. Dan and Paul taking up the other rooms. I remembered not to put paper down the toilet unlike last time... and slept like a log.
Wednesday 25/08/10
Woke at about 12. Borrowed Pascals bike to get to school. Got there without any collisions. At 2 I met the staff (Dave the Bostonian American, Sam the Guilford guy, Andrew the nutter and Paul the Yorkshireman from York). Sam and Paul have just started having Chinese lessons, so I might try and tag along with one of them.
I had a load of things that I was going to do that afternoon, but the heavens opened at 3 and didn't stop until after 8. By which time, I just wanted to get back to the house and chill. Pascal didn't have any lights on his bike... so it was a cautious climb back up the mountain. Spent the evening setting up my laptop with Internet.
Thursday 26/08
On Rita's advice, I sought out a barber today to neaten the mess upon my head. I remembered that in most Taiwanese barbers you get a hair wash after your trim, but I was in there for 90 minutes... and it was worth every cent. You had 3 hair washes (before, after and mid cut) a head massage, neck massage, I'm pretty sure the chair was a massage chair too. I came out a new man.
I got to school just in time to observe Paul's lesson... which reassured me that this is the best teaching job in the world. The kids were responsive, everyone was learning and smiling, joking around with the teacher in English... and they were only 10 years old. Afterwards I went to get 16 passport photos for my Alien Resident Card, medical check, scooter licence, and a dozen other documents. I also got some bike lights to avoid having to ride home in the dark again.
That night I was supposed to have a meal with Rita (our school manager) as part of the new teacher settling in program... but it got to 9 o'clock and she was still working at recruiting more students. So the rest of the staff persuaded me to join them at Hi Relax, a bar in Yuanlin.
The lads ordered Dumplings but I passed still expecting this meal. We got through a few games of Dice. I rang Rita, she was still busy and we decided to postpone til next week.
Friday 27/08
I had to go to Taichung today to get a refund at EVA offices (the nearest one).
Pascal dropped me off because he didn't want me borrowing his bike and having it stolen at the train station.
I had that pleasant feeling on the train ride that one can only get through paying a pound to go the distance from Hull to Leeds. As I reached the city the gathering rainclouds let loose a torrential downpour on the city and its station. I grabbed some water from 7/11 then dived into a yellow taxi for shelter. I showed him the Chinese address and he seemed to know where to go. He pulled up $200 later outside an antiques shop. I was happy with the price but was sure I'd be able to see a sign for the national airways office. I checked the address in both languages: it had to be here somewhere. I went for a stroll and found an entrance in the side of the wall round the corner.
It revealed 4 huge tower blocks inside. Each with an elevator. The security man said to go to the top of Tower A. And there hidden in the top corner of these office blocks was that EVA lady cardboard cut-out pointing to a door.
Attentive; sincere; enthusiastic. Read a sign on the far wall. The girl on the desk certainly ticked the first two. When called up, I explained about what happened in Heathrow and asked for a refund. If Id paid in cash; then I could have had the money there and then; but I paid on card and so it was likely to take 4 months... It's a good thing I my sold car!
The weather had cleared up when I got outside again, so I thought I'd walk back to the station... see how far I could get before I collapsed of heat exhaustion. Well I got all the way! thanks to a few well timed breaks in air-conditioned shops. I was back in Yuanlin before 5.
I popped into school to ring Pascal to see if he could pick me up... since I had no bike nor scooter, nor phone. No answer. I figured one of them would be home soon so I started the walk home. Now Taiwan doesn't really do pavements so I weaved my way round parked vehicles and oncoming traffic. As I started the ascent up Baigoshan a group of kids started calling out to me in English. I couldn't work out if they actually wanted to know how old I was or whether that was the only thing they could remember... I pressed on. I got home in 40 minutes... and guess what! Nobody in! And the usual stick I used to prise the garage door open had long gone... only find bamboo... and that want open any lock. Too bendy. I waited half an hour, and then resolved to go back down the mountain to school; hoping that Pascal would pass me on the way down.
That didn't happen. And at about 20:30 I got back to school and collapsed into a staffroom chair.
Paul thankfully gave me a lift home... which was my first scooter experience since I got here.
I did very little that evening coz I had a medical test in the morning.
Saturday 28/08
I hate medical checks! Well i hate blood tests.
Rita had brought me to the Changhua hospital in the school car.
I passed the eye test with flying colours and the ear test, and the x-ray, but as soon as I sat down in front of the lady with 4 glass tubes to fill I know it's not going to end well.
After 20 seconds my head started to feel a bit fuzzy, after 30 seconds my ears started buzzing and after 40 seconds my eyes started to blur.
Rita and the nurse tried to bring me round with a glass of sweetened milk. I was soon up and walking again. "I thought you were joking when you said you didn't like blood tests!" Rita laughed. I just don't have enough spare blood I tried to explain.
We then had a quick chat with a doctor about whether I had ever had any of a list of illnesses. And then we were free to go. To cheer me up, we went shopping for a scooter. The same place I got my last one.
Sunday 29/08
Pascal's friend Angela came round this morning and the two of them went for a bike ride before the storms came from Taichung. As Pascal's bike had been my only form of transport and my scooter wasn't coming til tomorrow. I was pretty house-bound for the rest of the day. Daniel left the house to start his new job in the big city, so I moved into his old room. It was nice to finally hang stuff up in a cupboard and sleep on a full size bed.
Paul woke up about 4pm and was heading to grab some food, so I grabbed a lift on the back of his scooter. We met up with his ex girlfriend Mere (which wasn't awkward at all) and Sam and decided to go to grab a pizza at Little Italy in Yuanlin. I asked for a folded pizza, but what I got was a stuffed loaf! It was about the size of my stomach, so it was a real challenge, even for me. On top of the loaf was ladled oodles of tomato sauce. So either they haven't figured out how to get liquid inside the loaf or they just forgot. Very tasty though.
On the way home Paul let me drive for a bit. He was flagging after his pizza. We stopped at a megamarket. Has-everything kind of store. I picked up some new bedding, which was surprisingly expensive compared to the 2 pound t shirts around. When we got back to the scooter, we noticed it was chucking it down so I went back in and bought a 10 cent (20p) plastic mac to keep me dry til we got home.
Monday 30/08
I taught my first lesson today. Kids were great, but I forgot that I had to fill in their communication books at the end of each lesson, so we overran by nearly 15 minutes. Luckily I had no lesson straight after it.
My Scooter was supposed to be dropped off at some point that evening, but the guy didn't show up. Very annoying. When I got back home Pascal had realised that the friend he thought was coming tomorrow was actually landing today. So when he arrived, Mark I think his name is, we went down to a bar in Yuanlin with some of the other teachers.
We had many deep and meaningful conversations but sadly they were cut short at 4am as Pascal wasnt feeling so good. We left, much to the relief of the bar staff, and got a taxi back up the mountain.
Tuesaday 31/08
Today, I didn't have any teaching scheduled, so I waited for the rain to stop and then walked into town and collect my scooter. I was gonna do some exercise in our gym, but Pascals mate was sleeping in there and given 19 hours on a plane and then up til 4:30 last night, he wasn't waking up anytime soon. At 5:30 the scooter man turned up with a tick list for me to go through. Do the licence plates match the registration document? what about the engine number? I guess so, not that I could read them they were so small. He handed me the keys and suddenly I was "mobile man! Able to travel anywhere in Taiwan in a flash!"... you'll need to put some petrol in! scooterman reminded me.
I picked up some food for the way home in a place i call WuShir (50NT) because that's how much most of the tray cost. You have a tray with 4 compartments. You fill it with food from a huge table. There must be 60 large plates, each with different food. It's a bit of a lottery as to what each thing is, what it tastes like and whether its hot or not. But the more often you go, the better your chances of finding a great dish. The staples egg fried rice and noodles have every kind of vegetable sliced and mixed in. I rode back home and chilled in front of the TV watching news reports of the 3 typhoons in the area at the moment!
Wednesday 1/09
This morning I thought it was time to take my washing down to a laundrette. I took them to the same guy as last time. He looked identical, the price wasn't though, but when I looked at how many clothes had accumulated since I left Hull 11 days ago
Today I had my first 2 hour lesson and this would be the classes first lesson at Shane: CEI01.
Rita gave me a list of things to remember. Make sure they have fun! Make sure they know the rules! Don't do any spellings yet! I think the lesson went ok. They were all involved... I think i may have started a game a too early. More drilling was needed! But overall, kids were bonkers! And went out smiling. Rita was going to give me some feedback... but she is a busy lady this month. Dinner was put back, so feedback would have to be put back as well.
Having bought a scooter, I'd spent most of the money I had brought out with me. So I thought I'd check online that my money had moved from Barclays to HSBC... it hadn't moved an inc1h. 'Not to worry - I'll use my Barclay card!' oh no, i have to register that for abroad... which takes 6 days. That's a bit annoying. Might have to ask Rita for a loan!
It was raining when I finally came out of school, it was OK, I had that 10 NT plastic cover that I bought at megamarket. Well by the time I had stretched it over my head, there were two large rips in it. One down my back and one across over my trousers. Most of the journey was spent keeping the plastic over my trousers. Total failure. Then to top it all, I dropped the scooter when I pulled up in the garage. The headlights wouldn't come back on. Hungry and tired I walked back down to the nearest 7/11 to buy a takeaway dinner and a catch bar.

Thursday 2/09
Today as I had another day off, I decided to go for a bike ride up to the top of the mount
ain. I missed the optimum time of 6am by about 5 hours... but grey clouds overhead kept the temperature in the 2os: ideal for a wee cycle. Pascal had taken his mate to Lugang, so I didn't feel too guilty about borrowing his bike. I stripped it of the pump, the repair kit, the water bottle, the front and rear sacks and lights in an attempt to make the bike as light as possible.
I was ready... for the first 10mins, the going was swift: I felt fine; not the sweating wreck I remembered from 2006), the cycling and jogging in Manchester must have paid off!
15 minutes into the cycle, the gradient went from 15% to about 40% and any notion of being fitter now had vanished. I was determined to get to the first peak without stopping. People on route shouted "Jaio" which I think means Well done... or "Go on my son!"
I did so but now had a 2 tone siren quality to my breathing. I pushed on down and then endlessly up again. I found a rythm and the right gear and was happy not to feel dehydrated. Before long the rain started to fall, light and cool upon my face. Just what the physio ordered! The only downside I found as the road zigzaged up again was that the rain made it impossible to change gear with Pascal's gripshift system. It all came undone on the very last slope. So I got off and walked the last bit to the main road across the mountain. As the rain had stopped and I had no money to buy a drink, I thought I'd might as well start the descent down the mountain.
I found the road that took me back via the temple.... swerved of the main road and suddenly down, down, down. I'd have screamed out if there hadn't been so much wind rushing at my face.
Unlike, I remembered - the thrill of freefalling down with nothing to stop you as you glide round each corner masterfully - this was not going through my head... I'm going to die, crap, I'm going to die horribly. Even if I slammed both breaks on now, I'm pretty sure the breaking distance was about 5 times longer than the distance from me to the sheer drop over the first bend. And then this other panick set in... Which is the front break lever and which the back. My mind had gone blank... I knew on the bike back home... back in Hull, but Pascals?! With motorists everywhere and bend after bend, I didn't really want to take a peek to find out. Wrong break first and I'm head over heels into the road ahead. I did the only thing I could do; squeezed both breaks and prayed and veered towards a soft looking bush ahead. It stopped, I stopped. I looked down and the breaks are different on Pascals: right is back: pull right first: pull right to slow down. Got it.
The rest of the ride home was more like I remembered. Tropical vegetation blurring with small villages, scooter drivers left way behind and old people gathered on street corners wondering what just went past.
I later cycled into school to get a loan from the school since i couldn't access my UK money for antoher week. As soon as I had the money, had this strange desire to buy icecreams.
I got this winner "ChocoCrunch" It was just like puddings i make at home. Rum and raisens inside a choc ice with chocoalate syrup inside and orange and cereal bits stuck to the outside. Amazing.
Friday 03/09/10
Emma (school manager when I was here last) dropped by to Shane today from Changhua (where she works now) to tell me about the new reader programme. I basically have 7 x2hour lessons to get through the Three Billy Goats with me CE01s. I can do what I like as long as they improve their phonics, vocab, grammar and comprehension. It would start on Monday.
I had my usual 2 classes today and they went fine. I got a call from Pascal while I was there: he wanted his bike back a.s.a.p. He did say I could borrow his stuff without asking. I rode back home with the sunset behind me as quickly as I could. When I got there, puffing and panting in a sweaty mess, it turned out that Pascal had changed his mind.
That night, Gail came round to cook the 4 of us a traditional Taiwanese meal. Chicken.
I was worried that she was going to do chickens feet, but we escaped that fate.
She pulled out a huge back of chicken bits, 4 bottles of rice wine, some sesame oil, ginger, soy sauce and a herb bag (like a tea bag only bigger). She made us a soup which was delicious. Paul must have forgotten about it. We had chopsticks but they weren't much use. it was easier to eat the chicken with your hands and drink the noodles with the soup. Even after we'd all had seconds there was still a good 3/4 of the pan filled with soup.
As it was Friday I decided to head back to Hi Relax with Gail. Pascal and Mark had and an early morning get-up so declined.
It was far busier today. There were two tables of English speakers and the rest were young locals: most eager to get us involved in whatever games they were playing.
Sam and Mike had a rap - off (if that's the word for it) I think Sam won. There was a game of dice going on. A yes no game. Mere was trying to teach everyone a rhyming game. I picked it up quite quickly but Andrew and Sam... took a little longer.
I don't think we left until after 3. I stayed with Mere, Mike and Enricho, as they only lived round the corner.
Saturday 4/09/10
Got up at 9ish as the Americans had lessons on Saturdays. It was a weird sensation being outside: I wans't hung over but Yuanlin is a bright and noisy and busy place at 9am. I felt like a zombie staggering back to the bar. I scootered back(yes, that is a verb) up to Pascal's to grab a shower. There was an ominous cloud hanging over the mountain. As I got to the final approach, it started bucketing it down. Paul was sat in the front room in the dark pondering whether to go to a free rock concert in Taichung. Soon after came the lighting and thunder. one must have been over the house, coz we both jumped a foot. It rained heavily for 5 hours. Not a lot to do when it rains heavily for 5 hours. I caught up on little sleep.
In the evening Andrew came over to Mere's to watch Moon. Good film: about a guy working on an energy base on the...on the moon. Then he starts seeing things. wooo!
We also had an epic game of mario cart... which I didn't lose.