Taiwan tales part 3: Hei Sun Wood and that song

This week we got our first typhoon warning which was exciting; went on to the met office website and watched it circle in ... and then miss the island entirely.

I was going to get my first long distance (ie more than 10 mins) scooter experience this weekend on a trip to a beautiful wooded valley/mountains type place: Hei Sun Wood: sadly knowing that we all might be washed down stream, i decided to ride in the back of Pascal (the french man from Derby)'s little Rascal van.

We got to the site on Satdy morning a little tired after a Friday night spent with some Australians and Canadians in Yuan Lin.

There were about 20 of us teachers there; all celebrating Jims birthday (a Shane teacher from Changua)... i was expecting a shack with a dunny; but no... we had 4 bed chalets with cable TV, air con, power showers and most impressively: a drinks machine.

The site was massive, we needed to drive between the chalets and the restuarant.

Jim had brought with him a '5 in one' games set and we spent most of the day playing games in a small glade... then came the water balloons 'Capture the flag': we've all been paintballing, you know the game.... it was a little short lived as everyone was very keen to wet and cool off.... that and the other team underestimated the funkster's ability to leg-it-like-a-mad-man with their flag.

Andy (another teacher) had made a lucky dip of tasks to be completed during the weekend: ranging from climbing a tree to re-enacting a gladiator battle... i pulled out 'make up and perform a song about Hei Sun Wood' ...i received much sympathy from everyone, but little did they know that I've writing stupid lil ditties for years... so later that night, after piggy back races around the biggest campfire ive seen, and a drop or two of wine; Andy pulled out his guitar and we launched into a four verse masterpiece (for lyrics see below)

The next morning, most people were a little bit tired, but Pascal and I felt fine, and decided to take a short treck up the mountain... absolutely exhausting.... we'd been walking about 2 hours, when we came across a red-bordered triangular sign: warning: Poisonous snakes! poisonous wasps! Centipedes!

Why the hell wasnt the sign at the start of the path! Being men, we walked a couple more paces, until we heard a buzzing noise, and then decided it must nearly be lunch time and bolted back down the path.

Lunch was better than yesterday's tea; spicy fish that you could pop in your mouth, bamboo, shrimps (Shark's Tale came to mind) and to finish chocolate cake-quality!

Oh ...in Africa i took with me a great hat, lost it on a taxi, and was then bought a backcloth hat (that brown thing some of you have seen me in)... well seems history repeats itself; lost my nice hat in a taxi, went to Hei Sun would and someone bought me this straw hat... you'll have to see the photos.

The weekend was not without its down side; last night i slept for about ten minutes in total; after being bitten no less than 76 times: but Sam my flatmate reassured me that they would go down (after 2 weeks!- by which time ill have bitten my own arm off to stop it itching)

anyways: better go- have a drive to changua today to cover Sharne.

Thanks to those who've mailed me, i will reply personally when i get five mins on a computer

All the best

Dunx

Hei Sun Wood (written by Dunx... the tune is similar to Thousand Trees Stereophonics)

Got here 3 weeks back; i got quite a shock

A small rural village, Yual Lin is not

There's scooters with hooters

their drivings no good

Wont somebody take me to Hei Sun wood

ch

Hei Sun Wood: The sound fo nature

Hei Sun Wood: It's God's own glade

Hei Sun Wood: A stress free haven

And they sell these hats which are really great

They took me to Hei Sun, turned out to be dire

I went for a walk and got this snake bite

My vision went fuzzy, this really aint good

Wont somebody take me the heck out this wood

ch

Dinner was crazy: dint know what to eat

The fish was too bony, the mayo was sweet

There's small screaming children, my head starts to ache

Thank God we brought some chocolate cake

ch

Night time's no better: i'm itching like (beep)

Those noisy crickets wont let me sleep

I'm tired, I pent up: my new pants are torn

the fridge has broken, my beer is warm

ch

Taiwan tales part 2

I had my training week in Taipei and that was really fun, nice people all preteding to be kids.. you know the score; I was staying in the Love Hotel, in a tastefully decorated room with a round bed in the middle and a series of large mirrors around the walls and ceiling... to the left of the bed was a gold plated panel with a number of buttons under Chinese characters. The power to the room came when you put your key card in a slot; doubtless one of the buttons would have turned the lights out on my first night... but i was so worried about accidently sounding the fire alarm, calling room service, or worse... that I simply took out the key card and slept in complete darkness. Luckily id remembered my mandarin phrase book, so by the third night, id figured out the light switches.

felt my first earthquake this week; i was on the top floor of the hotel dozing when suddenly i realised the room was swaying; nothing spectular, but it was humbling.

One thing i learnt in my week in taipie is that Taiwanese people dont believe in street grids. I'd like to think that after years of scouting and a degree in geography, i had acheived at least a mild sense of direction...but here; every road is blanketed with neon signs; and every road's neon signs look like every other road's neon signs; i think i have got lost at least once a day since i arrived in taiwan; and i cant see it improving... and there's a funny story; i have realised this week that mimes and gestures that seem common sense in England just dont work here... yesterday morning i was coming home on the back of a friends scooter after a great night out* in Changhua (the nearest town) to celebrate a succesful first week of teaching toddlers to teens how to speak angleeshy:... when (wait for it) we got lost on the way to thte train station... fearlessly stepping out to address a local couple in a shop i used my pharse book to say "speak english?" sadly they dint... so me and sam burst out into spontaneous choo choo noises and chuggar train actions (hands in circluar moition around waist - you know the one)... nothing.... i fetched out a pen and drew an accurate sketch of a train with 4 passenger carriages.... nothing.... his wife speaks something and the man turns and says "Oh... meep meep?"

Meep meep?! that's what i said!

Reflecting on this incident; i began to wonder how much i was helping my class by making animal noises to elicit the name of animals on flashcards.

Still, its all a learning curve...

speaking of learning curves; yesterday morning, i went to a garage to order a scooter; in taiwan, scooter=mobility... and although, ive never ridden one back in uk; i thought it was time i immersed myself in the local culture... the man let me test drive a few round his garage forecourt, and i decided to take the one that i hadnt crashed into a curb, wall or park scooter. He said i could take any colour; i said "what colour dont people buy?"; he said "red", i said "red it is"

im planning to put a ferrari sticker on the side... ill be the envy of the academy.

Today im in yuan lin town centre again; im in a bicycle shop; im unfit and need some exercise - buy a bike! i thought. The man here doesn't speal english, but i have managed to negotiate a deal on a nice Giant with front suspension (a must here; the roads arent that bad, but the drivers are terrible; you never know when you might need to make an unscheduled trip off road)

I asked the bikeshop guy if there was an internet cafe near by... he looked pained to answer; but eventually pointed to the computer in the back office and i think he's let me use it... if not; then he's probably gone to fetch the police to kick out the dodgey foreigner.

We have made friends with the neighbours; i am living with a derby man, a brighton girl and a canadian dude; they've been in the house over 6 months and never spoke much to the neighbours; but my first day back from taipie training to Yuan Lin, i hadnt got any keys yet; my phone had died (and i dint have anyones number) all i had was the address. i turned up at the house, it was empty... great!

Our neighbour, saw me and invited me in for tea and cake; he pointed to this business card, speaking no english, i really dint know what he wanted me to do wiht it; he rang the number and handed me the phone; luckily the person at the other end was english and after an odd conversation, turned out he used to live there. I was going get a taxi to his, but the neighbours insisted on driving me there and back; some 3 miles!

I got back, VV grateful, got into my house and crashed... suddenly theres a tap on the door.... its the neighbours wife (tiny italian-like gesticulating old lady) i was scared to death; she guided me back to their place where she'd made a feast for me. I dint know what to say (quite literally since they dint understand a word id been saying)

Anyway the night after, me and derby man Pascal are sat at home thinkin about dinner; she comes round again; takes us both back to hers and this time her whole family's round.

After dinner, the man pulls out a saxophone(which pascal happens to play), trumpet for himself and a keyboard for me. We had an interestin jamming session;

no one really knew what anyone else was playing; but hey; 's'all fun an games