Shane New Year

Last Sunday, Linda hosted a meal for all of the staff from her 3 schools to Hemei for a meal at a very classy fish restaurant. Cars would be leaving Yuanlin at 4:50 as it was a long drive to Hemei.
This was the same day that I had invited Charles out for a hard core cycle.
So I spent the morning cleaning my suit and ironing my trousers. Then at 1, I set off to meet Charles. We were both a bit late so we set off at half one in the direction of the monkey temple as Charles hadn't seen any Formosan wildlife yet. We got to the bottom of the monkey hill in less than an hour, but we both needed a break so we walked the bikes up the road to the monkeys. The monkeys were near the bottom of the hill... but neither of us had any water so needed to get to the shops in the town at the top.
This almost killed us having to carry the bikes up chunky steps and then push them up a very steep path... until finally we reached the narrow steep green stair case... I had forgotten about that staircase.
Two old ladies past us, and gestured that we carry the bikes on our shoulders...
But we didn't have the energy left so we decided to abandon the bikes and go on foot.
We got to the town and were surrounded by stalls selling sweet smelling food, but we didn't have money or time enough to enjoy it... not to worry, the big buffet was tonight... we found a water seller and tried out our Chinese. I looked at my watch and saw that it was gone 3 o clock...we really needed to get head back if we wanted time to get ready.
We quickly reached the bikes and charged down the hill trying not hit monkeys, dogs children or old people in the way. One car almost knocked me off a 7 foot cliff as we came out the carpark as he swerved to avoid another car. After that it was the fun ride down (Charles was loving it). There was an annoying headwind on the way home, so after our first rest, we couldn't afford another, we ploughed on and on and on and after over an hour and a half, we were finally back in sight of Yuanlin. I left Charles to make his own way, and race back up to Baigoshan I was in and out of the shower in 5 minutes threw up my suit and shoes just in time to be collected and taken down to the school. Paul was travelling somewhere and Sam was sick with tonsillitis but most of the TAs, Andrew and Charles were waiting at the school for me.
It was a long drive to Hemei. I was ravenous.
We got out in Hemei to find the weather its usual gale-force self. We struggled through the carpark into the shelter of the reception area. We headed upstairs to a large room with a wedding decor theme. We sat down on at a large table. We were the first to arrive which is always a bad sign if you really hungry. There was a small stage come dance-floor where a large box of posh handbags and face creams. Vicky handed everyone a raffle ticket. My number was 13 - I thought that was quite fitting.
We and Charles tucked into a plate of garlic peas and what looked like black seeds.
We weren't supposed to eat the shells apparently, but that was where all the flavour was.
It wasn't long before the Hemei and Changhua teachers had all assembled and the meal started in earnest. Rice, a white fish in this amazing sweet sauce, chicken soup (a whole chicken in a bowl) various tofu dishes, raw fish with wusabi, shrimp, octopus, cake, meat fried rice, caramel pudding, blue bean sauce and various vegetable dishes. May (Linda's sister) had brought a huge barrel of fizzy apple cider for everyone to try.
At the end of the meal, the raffle began.

There were about 15 handbags and 15 face cream bottles to draw for so it took about an hour to get through all of them. I won some cream... they hadn't really brought anything for the blokes, so we all exchanged the gifts with the girls for food or drink.
After the raffle there was a ping pong challenge. Each school had to nominate 6 people to pass a ping pong ball along a line of people using spoons in their mouths. The school with the most balls after 3 minutes won. I was amazed I collected and passed on all 3 of my balls, but Andrew and Charles kept dropping them so we scored 0points. Changhua won with 3 points.
Then there was a tongue twister challenge. Teachers had to see who could say well known tongue twisters the fastest, in Chinese and in English.

After that Andrew had written a quiz about literature, film stars and sexual deviance... the quiz was funny to start off with, but not really geared to or translated for the 60% Chinese staff or suitable for families.
So it was quickly wrapped up.

The weekend after was the Shane New Year's show. The big event in the Shane Calendar. Students and staff from each of Linda's schools had prepared and been working on a play or sketch for some time. The venue was a large lecture hall in the Christian Hospital in Changhua. Each of the plays had been given a rehearsal slot on Saturday afternoon and as I was chief cage mover, I had to be down quite early. I got a lift in Pascal's rascal van.
He had been asked to take some pictures of the event. He now had a fair bit of kit with him, so I offered to help carry it.
The schedule for the day had been planned down to the last minute, but not surprisingly, when we got there at 3pm, rehearsals were already running over.
After dumping the flash stands, I found the Yuanlin team.. they were wearing full costumes now and looked awesome. The cage had been brought up to the back of the theatre, but as it didn't pack flat, getting through onto the stage was going to be tricky. It was pretty quite so Emily gave me a hand squeezing it down the narrow corridor to the side door of the auditorium.
Linda wasn't happy with one of Hemei's dance routines, so we were held up for bit back stage. Then finally it was our turn.
Andrew led the way. All the kids remembered everything, they were a bit quiet, but then the microphones were not working yet... but this would be fixed some point that afternoon I was assured. We were given a second run through and chance to nail the new dance routine to finish. I had to tell off two TAs for leaning on the cage "It's made of card, not metal!"
I was pretty after the run, the TAs offered me a McDonald's hamburger, but it didn't quite fill the hole so I went for a walk in search of food.
There were quite a few food shops but they didn't look open. Then on the way back I popped into a bakery. Big Mistake! I can't get out of a bakery without buying at least 3 things and they're not cheap like everything else. I came out with a huge pizza, a cake and rice savory wrap thing. They were pretty goof though.


I had forgotten to bring a tie, but it didn't matter too much as I wasn't down on the meet and greet the parents. It was 6 o'clock and most of the teachers were here now. I had a quick catch up with a couple, before going back to check the cage was OK... Somebody had knocked one of the legs off! Not to worry, I had come prepared with sticky tape and string.

Our kids were on first so we made our way to the back of the stage... and waited for the 2 hosts; Rita and another school manager to finish their introduction. The music to mission impossible was going but we had no idea what was going on. Eventually it was our turn. Andrew read his speech and the kids got into place. The TAs on either side of me in the wings were getting stressed. One of the kids dropped her hat, so the TA ran on stage to give it back to her. Then when the microphones didn't work properly they ran on again... I told them to relax "Everything will be fine! Stop running on stage!" My two cage moves went swimmingly (much to my relief).

The audience loved it, especially the dance at the end. After our show we went back up to the upper auditorium to watch the rest of the show. That was the plan anyway.
As the kids were so high up and the speakers were so very loud (as are all speakers in Taiwan) it was difficult to make out what was going on. The kids started chatting among themselves. I tried telling them off, but then Paul arrived and started chatting with the other teachers. :( So I went downstairs in search of peace.
The other shows were pretty good, not as good as ours of course. The Changhua teachers did a sketch in Chinese mocking an Englishman trying to buy a newspaper.
But the highlight was some TAs dancing to some ridiculous tune in the style of an infomercial advertising Shane around the world.
At the end of the show there was a huge clean up operation by over 70 TAs as they had to be out the theatre by midnight.
I helped Pascal pack his gear. We went for something to eat before heading to Paul and Anna's farewell party in YS Bar in Changhua. Everyone was there and more.
It felt a bit odd. I hadn't seen so many waigoren (foreigners) in one place since I left England. I finally caught up with Andy and Rachel (whose wedding I went to and who still have my old scooter). They're both living in Taichung now. I recognised some people from a few parties I'd been to earlier in the year but I'd say half the people I had never met before.
Only 2 TAs had come to the party. The rest had gone home too tired after the day's slog. It was a very nice night.