Malay Discovery World

On Sunday a collection of TA’s and teachers from the 4 schools of Linda (the scary boss - see Farewell Martin and Kate) went up to a theme park up somewhere; making this my 3rd visit to a themepark in 4 months. This one was called Malay Discovery World.
Sadly you haven’t got a brochure describing the areas of the park; so let me give you a taster to show how little is lost in translation:
o Yaymay Island Bay: Mysterious lost island for contented elderly people.
o Enchanter forest: Magical fantasy land, for romantic lovers.
o Fairy Tale Village: Cute fairy-tale land for young and innocent children.
o Palace of Dream: Eccentric extraterrestrial planet for the pioneering dream seeker.
o D-Street: Thrilling sci-fi and fantasy city for those who have “guts”.
Although all of the Yuan Lin teachers were there I spent the day with Jenna (US new teacher in Changhua) and the TA’s from Pin Hir School (where I covered for a teacher on hols for 2 weeks)… they were the only ones who’d waited after I went to buy hat no.3.

Being the only Brit and the only male in our group… there was obviously a lot of pressure to put on a brave face… and smile at whatever ride decisions the group came to. Now I’ve known some thrill seekers in my time… but this Jenna; we were no sooner off a ride than on the next one along: indiscriminate… well apart from them all being fast.
When I went the last theme park I was a little worried about Taiwan safety measures: I needn’t have been. This time I really should have been.


The swings: fine. The stinger: fine. The galactic spin: slight feeling of veins popping out of my head, but surprisingly fine. Sonic circle: no padding on seats; backache. Wild-Crazy flume: fine. Wild river canyon: fine. Pirate Ship: feeling of weightlessness and nausea but fine.
Energy Storm: the harness on this ride has two settings: Sumo wrestler or Taiwanese lady: so as the ride spun me round and upside down all I could do was fight to not slip out of the seat. The opposite problem occurred on the Mine train ride where the clamp was so tight I couldn’t breath for the duration. The Gravity Max was there big attraction: the World’s only broken-track roller coaster: train stops high in the air: the part of track its on pivots into the vertical: the train hangs for a moment then plummets down.
In 6 hours we’d done 10 rides; we would have done more; had it not been for the parade: all of the paths were roped off and like it or not; you were to watch fluffy bunnies and assorted animal friends dance (I use the term loosely) past you.
It took a second to sink in; but when I looked more closely at the performers I was astounded to see they were all westerners!
I’d never seen a more bizarre picture: Taiwanese people crowding to see Western people dressed in Taiwanese costumes in a dance routine for which white people are renowned for being rubbish.
By 7 our group were all feeling a little queasy: I was proud that outlasted most of them with my usually poor tolerance for all things spinny. We went to stock up on energy; Candy and Bess came with me and Jenna, to Scream Pizza to share a large Hawaiian. This was obviously their first pizza experience: they didn’t like it one bit! It was hilarious! When I think of all the truly weird things they eat everyday: but then cheese and tomato are not common foods here: nor is non-sweet bread for that matter.

We were all too knackered to do much else yesterday so we all went home and crashed out to wake up this morning with various bruises and back pains. So next weekend I think I’ll stick to hurtling down a mountain on my bike: much safer!

This is the beautiful Rita: jobs include school manager and making everyone feel good.