Tour de Taiwan in a Nissan

9th-19th March: Jenny and John come to visit.
It was 10:17 before I was finally on the road to the airport in the hire car that had been dropped off late, having made photocopies of my life-documents, topped her up with petrol and figured out - probably by accident - how to release the gear stick in an automatic. (lesson 1: to release the gearbox, first apply the brakes) Despite the downpour, i was making great progress until an accident stopped everything on the road. As we had stopped and the road was flat i took my foot off the brake (lesson 2: in an automatic, the car will move forward if in drive and no brakes are on). The guy in front was very reasonable about the scratch on his rear car and settled the incident before the traffic got moving again.... moving except me: battling to start the engine (lesson 3: an automatic car must be in Park to start the engine)
I arrived at the airport at about 1pm (1hr30 after their plane touched down). I abondoned the car in terminal 2 carpark, remembering that's where the international flights left from and sprinted to the arrivals lounge... nobody there. I explained the problem to the helpful check-in lady "terminal one" she said "there's a shuttle bus there in 5 minutes" I ran on. To my relief, they were still waiting there when i arrived. Not the best of starts to the holiday.
The route from the airport to Taipei was relatively simple and incidentless. We got to the area of our hostel with an hour to spare. The owner was to meet us there at half three to let us in. We couldnt see the name of the hostel along the mainroad, but there were a few sidestreets so we left the car with blinkers on and went to investigate. We showed the address to a girl in a shop and she pointed us down the road. I cautioned John that in Taiwan it was best to get atleast 3 sets of directions before assuming any set was correct. Eventually we wound up outside a an appartment building that was locked, in small writing on one of the postboxes was written 'Formosa Hostel'. The lady let us in and showed me to the rooms; i say rooms, but a closer look revealed that it was one room with a bunk bed cut in two, the wall zigzagging round the bed. Not the best rooms i'd seen, but the communal area seemed nice enough.
John and Jen were both nackered but hungry so we went for a walk to find the night market for some snacks and maybe even some snake blood. However, I underestimated 3 things: the size of taipei, the accuracy of its maps and the inability of its people to read maps or give directions. In the end we gave up and stopped at a small buffet style cafe and tucked into a nice variety of taiwanese nosh.
We took the MRT back to the hostel where we chilled and watched meet the Fockers on TV.
The next morning I bought some dan-bin for everyone; a tradional Tai breakfast egg in pancake with soya sauce. I planned an easy day walking round the most famous landmarks of the capital. Although as everything still seemed new and extraordinary to Jen and John, we stopped every 5 minutes to take pictures of the sublime to the ridiculous. On the way we discovered a small garden that seemed dedicated to preserving the natural in the heart of a city sprawling uncontrollably upwards and outwards. We also came across a cultural centre with aboriginal and hakka handicrafts on display where I learnt a lot about dragons!
After visiting Chang Hai Shek memorial hall and watching the changing of the guard and seeing my first squirrel in Taiwan, I was pleased to discover a Hakka Festival taking place down the next road. There was almost a km of stalls selling trinkets, teas, treats and Norwegian biscuits (dont ask me why). We stuffed ourselves on freebies, noodles and pancakes.
We then headed to the Sun Yat Sen memorial hall after which I'd planned to go to the top of Taipei 101 and chill taking photos until the sun went down; however the mist was so bad, we couldn't see the top of 101 from the ground next to it. Jen did get some boots though, from a shop inside 101.
Tired from walking round; we thought we'd treat ourselves to a proper meal at a restuarant: The Green Leaf. Well I knew that Taiwanese are very friendly but I wasnt expecting a giant gong to be struck as we entered; every worker paused to wish us Siergorney (welcome). i was a little surprised to see everyone eating hot pots... when the lonely planet had given the impression that this was the opposite. I dont mind hot-pots but it means cooking your own veg and meat which is far from relaxing and only beaten in calorie-burning-food-preparation by Japanese BBQ where you have to keep pouring water on everything to avoid burning the place down.
Still we survived both the food and the extortionate bill (relatively) and I think the J's enjoyed the experience.
We finished the evening back at the hostel with a game of cards and trying to get away from one of the guests; an american jewel dealer who was trying to persuade John to teach abroad for the money, the experiences and the girls!
Sunday morning. I was glad to find that the car was still parked illegally with the rest of the city's automobiles. We gave the keys back to the owner and headed out of the city; the plan being to get to the north coast by lunchtime.
Well the signals weren't brilliant but we were pretty sure we were heading the right way until our dual carriage way suddenly decayed into a footpath and forced us to head back. We saw a sign to where we wanted to be, but a policeman was blocking the road and sent us the wrong way. I decided to make a U-turn while the road was clear, when suddenly bang: a scooter that had been trying to overtake me on the wrong side of the road had somehow ploughed into my rear door. Now after the stories of Pascal's accident and how much it cost him, my stomach started to tighten a little when i noticed this was a no-turn road. The scooter rider was up and hobbling about and it wasnt long before the police arrived and started recording all the evidence. Sadly the poliman didnt speak a word of English but after some time he gestured for us to follow him to the hospital. There we met a foreign correspondent - nice guy - told us we were both in the wrong asked me to fill out a number of forms and told me to give one form back to the rental company. As his English was so good I asked him if he knew how to get to where we were going. He kindly led the way for us, until we were on route for the coast again.
It was a gray day, but when we finally came out onto the coastal highway, the huge waves indicated it was pretty windy as well. We got out long enough to look at a lighthouse on the very northern tip of the island. We were wrapped up in everything we had and still shivering. On the way back to the car we took shelter in a seafood place in a village where children were prodding puffer fish to make them blow up... I'm not sure what they were going to do next, but it didn't look hopeful for the fish. We dined on shrimps with wusabi sauce and noodles.
It was getting dark as we continued along the road. We were looking out for hostel signs. The motels were too expensive. Eventually we pulled up in Keelung. There was a sign for 500 dollars a room. Fantastic!
I went up to the reception and asked for two rooms. The lady said "Tomorrow" i said ''no today, now", she kept on asking about tomorrow; pointing at her clock. I thought 'how can she know the English for tomorrow and not for today?' but when Jenny and John arrived she produced two keys and handed them to us. I paid her the 500 and went into the room. It was odd. There was a ceiling mural of lots of naked bodies... a thought suddenly hit me. I went back out to the lady... turns out it was only 500 for 2 hours; ooops. Too tired to move, I paid her the difference and we chilled out for the night; feasting on what Jen thouht were sweet biscuits but were actually more like fishy space invaders.
The next morning; there was a ticket on the car. 'Great!' I thought 'Just what i need' but then i remembered that in Taiwan, instead of parking meters, parking people go round putting tickets on your car whihc you then pay at 7/11 or other stores. So after a fatty breakfast of a fried bread sandwiche, we started the 'scenic' drive to Hualien. The clouds were dark and rolling, but they cast amazing backdrops over the jagged cliffs and turbulent waters. Every twenty minutes or so, we found reason to stop and snap up what we could of the landscape.
As the drive was long, we stopped half way to look at the "temple near waterfall". I don't know if we were at the right place, but there certainly was a waterfall. We followed a path up and round the hillside until it came to a Christian .... thing. It wasnt a church, and yet it was too small to be a monastary... but a lot of work and money had gone into it's creation.
The scrawniest dog in the world decided to follow us up the path that just kept going... we were expecting to find two waterfalls at the top as the map had said: but on the way back down we realised that that path had been roped off. Ah well: nice bit of exercise.
So much so that we treated ourselves to some peanut butter icecream wrap... imagine a cajun chicken wrap with no chicken but instead icecream with toffee and peanut grated off this large block. mmmmm!
Back in the car and not wanting to have no place to stay again, we drove straight on to Hualien.
The city was actually quite nice, a first for Taiwan. It seemed to be quieter, fresher and more scenic and spaced out than most places. We were looking for the Police Hostel mentioned in my book. Jenny pointed to one place and I laughed saying it was too grand for a hostel... but no! It was the hostel! It was 400/person which was already good; but I thought I'd try my haggling skills and to everyone's amazing including mine; we all got in for 1000 (including buffet breakfast). Jenny was peckish so we showered and headed to a little market street I'd seen: had a nice big buffet and bought some fruit and drinks for the next day in Taroko Gorge.
Tuesday. We actually got up early which was good because there was a lot of breakfast to get through. Stocked up and packed we hit the road with hardly any traffic at all. By midmorning, the entrance to the gorge engulfed us. We had somehow gone past the office where I'd planned to get some info, but between the lonely planet and a map in Chinese, we managed to find all the top spots.
We started at a retreat centre half way up the gorge. There was no place so quite and awesome. Sheer cliffs rose on all sides and there were little walks around the pristine gardens. Still we wanted more of a challange so we moved on to the Eternal Spring: dedicated to the people who lost their lives building the road from East to West. There were tunnels through the rock to the spring and a small temple though which the water flowed. The original had been buried by a landslide during The earthquake, but the replica was quickly erected. I found some steps at the back of the cave that seemed to lead up the side of the cliff. I followed them and Jen and John were close behind. It was a little unnerving as there was a 200 meter drop to the right and only some thin rope and posts at knee height to stop me falling off. Still curiousity overcame anxiety. At the top I looked across an saw the bell tower we had seen from the bottom. The path hugged the cliff round to the precipice on which the tower was standing. From the top we could see right down the valley beneath us east and west.
Our next stop was in a little resort village to find the 2 waterfalls, but on the way we stopped to take a picture of frog rock: a rock that looked like a frog (strangely enough).
The visitor centre there had a lot of information about the flora and forna of the Park, but no useful maps. So, not for the first time this week, we head in the opposite direction across a bridge to a temple on the hill. Then turned round after asking a monk and starting again. The start of the walk to the 3 waterfalls was the entrance to a very long, very dark tunnel. I've never walked through a tunnel so long in all my life. It made you feel unbalanced and time slowed down; so it was a relief when finally we were out in the open again. A river was there. but no waterfalls. So we followed the river path as the water carved through the smooth rock; trying not to disturb the number of bees nests hanging in the trees.
The walk was long but it was worth it; at the end of the last tunnel, we came to a rope bridge across to a view point shelter. Turbulent white water flowing under the bridge and up the side of the cliff could be seen the two waterfalls so high above that there could be a whole valley flowing into this one that we didn't know about. Jenny took a moment before crossing the bridge with us. It was a bit rickety.
On the way back we had a paddle in the water, but it was a bit frigid.
Back in the car we decided it was time to head on to Puli to find a place to stay before it got too dark. I knew it was going to be a perilous drive. All guide books seem to give the same info on how many die each year crossing the 'highway' (literal use here of the word). It soon became clear how; as a car with blinkers on overtook 3 vehicles on a blind corner. I kept that in mind of drivers coming the other way and hugged the cliffside, much to the discomfort of John. The road climbed higher and higher, twisting and narrow so that not more than 50kmph could be accomplished. As we rose higher, the cloud started to engulf us, as if we were on the set of A Christmas Carol. Photos couldnt do the scene justice. And all the time the egg timer sun, kept sinking in the sky.
We finally found ourselves driving over the top of the mountains... must have been over 3000 meters high... and the road got slowly wider as we descended down towards Puli.
It was dark when we drove through Puli. Not knowing the town that well, I suggested we tried our luck at Sun Moon Lake not 20 mins down the road. So after some fantastic noodles, we followed the road to the lakeside village. We quickly found the Teachers Hostel mentioned in my guide, but the receptionist was less into haggling, so 40o each it was. Too exhausted to explore we hit the sack after a couple of rounds of ******** - the card game.
The next morning I was poisoned - well not poisoned - but there was something served for breakfast that was about as wrong to eat as fluffy pork. My face grimaces thinking about it.
Tried to down the flavour (salty mold?) with toast and tea, but that just made me feel bloated :(
The window view of the lake would have been great, if the hotel had been built facing the other way. We drove up to the village and went for a wander. The lake had shrunk noticeably since the times I'd been in 2006. But then the wet season was yet to start. It seemed to have lost its intensity of blue. A mist was rolling in as well which was a shame.
We meandered down the touristy shops by the lake and John bought a hat that made him look Australian - according to Jen and a Tai tourist who wanted his photo. The shops round the lake mainly sell aboriginal merchandise; which included giant wooden male genitalia... no where else had I seen them in Taiwan. For lunch we had rice and meat packed and steamed inside a large piece of bamboo cooked by a very happy chef. It was dead nice actually! Then I took them to the temple on the lake. It was packed with school kids on a trip. They must have been city kids, because they didn't seem affected by the three wigoran walking around.
Feeling a bit travel-weary; after popping into a temple further round the lake, we decided to head home to Yuan lin. Jenny slept through the journey, but John valiantly attempted to navigate using the less than accurate maps and sometimes none existent road signs.
I took them the scenic route over Baigoshan down to my house along the tropical plant laden road.
Having no food in the house, they soon agreed to go to Bert's Pizza place for dinner.
Thursday! An easy day.
We drove into town and picked up a box for me to send stuff home in from the post office. Then on to school. I hadnt been in for 8 days which is longer than any other point in the year: scary thought! I felt like the prodical son returning home. I discovered the plan for the weekend: TA meal with teachers on Friday and a cocktail party on Saturday at Gemna's (Jenna and Gemma used in the collective). Both sounded great. It's funny how you don't notice how you speak to people around you; and yet Jen swore I was putting on some accent to talk to the TA's.
We went for a walk round the highstreets of Yuanlin and I was shocked to find how cheap everything was. I'd not really had any need to clothes shop in the year (except for that dress).
It was almost dark before we'd finished looking round. On the way home we picked up some DVDs from Blockbuster to chill out in front of (including Children of Dune-great flick-great book).
The next day, I'd planned to go to the forest, but I wasn't sure how long it would take. So we drove in that direction, but planned to visit the Monastary on route that Nick Tim and me had checked out a while back. I told Jen and John that all we had to do was walk through and a monk would start giving us a tour. I told them how every monk was trained in 4 languages to help spread enlightenment. Well the first monk was tied to a table full of lilies... and she didn't speak English: obviously studied Chinese, Japanese, Taiwanese and Italian on her training.
She did get someone to translate: we were to put the lilies at the foot of the Vishnu to ensure protection on our journey.
The monastary was still impressive without a guide. There were no other monks around: Friday must be laundry day.
We were heading back to the car when a gardener enthusiastically directed us to the garden behind and a hall filled with Bodhisattva: trainee buddha's that have reached enlightenment.
A monk walking around inside, invited us in and gave us a lengthy Q&A sessions on everything we'd seen. Did you know? Every Budhisattva has a different skill (musically gifted, good orator, clear minded etc). To gain the skill you need, you must pray to the appropriate Budhisattva.
From in front of the giant building, Jenny could see a golden Laughing Buddha on the opposite mountain side. We jumped into the Nissan and drove!
It was an effort getting the car up the access road; but the statue was amazing. 50 meters high bronze coated in gold plate with a statue maybe half the height on either side of him of Vishnu and someone else. A happy monk was there to take our shoes and give us some paper slippers. He then passed us on to a Chinese speaking guide, who seemed to think I knew what he was on about... and I translated roughly to John and Jen who were pretty sure I didn't know what he was on about. Underneath the giant statue was a room with jade covered floor panels and gold walls and ceiling with lily flowers etched in. There was the usual host of bodhisattvas around the ajoining chambers. Pretty stunning. On the way out the happy monk ran to the car window to give us a lucky pendant and bracelets. How nice!
Looking at the map, the forest didn't look too far away. However the map didn't mark all the turns or road works happening on the road. Still, we got there before night fall... and as we sat drinking coffee and eating "thick toast" in the coffee house there, they agreed that this was one of the more scenic parts of Taiwan. Well, when there wasnt a logging truck steaming past and covering you with smoke. I took them to where we'd been camping in that first crazy month in Taiwan. We went for a walk and I suddenly remembered that I got over 70 mozzy bites last time I was here... and as the sun dipped, we became more aware of the buzzing around us and the insects flying into us. We legged it back to the car and drove the heck out of there.
Back home I met Edward my replacement for the first time and gave him the old house-sell speech that I'd given Tim and Nick in case he wanted to move in after I left.
From there we drove to the TA meal... although you'd think we weren't welcome the way that Emma our guide drove off with no return and then Nick tracked us down told us to take the next right, but then himself goes straight on.
Still, the meal was nice. Nick and Tim up to their usual antics... Edward practising his Chinese on the TAs (he's good - Pascal's gonna have competition when he gets back) and Jen and John trying to be as open minded as possible with the variety of strange sea foods on the table.
I did try and start a migration to KTV but the TAs need atleast a months notice for something that keeps them up past 9pm.
On Saturday we drove to Lugang to experience the best of Taiwanese food and culture. The place is so famous for it that when we arrived we were asked to fill in a form for a Taiwan Tourism survey. We started at the Lugang's oldest temple which had some event going on where gods were being carried down the street and people were dressed up in masks and parading the streets with an assortment of instruments. Jenny was worried we weren't aloud in, but every weekend has some festival somewhere in Taiwan.
From the temple we walked down the market streets trying the battered sea food and nut pancake snacks that are everywhere; and playing the icecream game... spin the wheel for number of scoops. I also managed to find a Chinese top that fit really well. Although I haggled the guy down, I think I haggled him from Westerner price to actual price; still felt like a good deal at the time. We also managed to find gift for friends and family that were very Taiwanese. We shopped until we dropped. And then sped home down the motorway -that ends at my house almost- to get ready for the party... which took longer for some than others :)
Everyone was at the party. Jenna greated us with a tray of rummy bears. I donated the bottle of plum wine left at our house on the curry night. It was nice to see everyone and retell the week's adventure to 30 people. The highlight of the event was the limbo competition of which Jenny was announced queen and Dave the king. Minnimal injury all round.
After 4 or 5 warnings from the police that we were too loud, we moved venue to the Sportsman bar where a karaoke was in place but the lyrics were backdropped with films of naked women rolling around. But everyone did well ignoring it. Jenny tried a couple of songs as well but the speakers were on such pants echo setting that it didn't do her justice. At least now, we can all blame the speakers for singing badly.
Sunday: woke up late. Thought I'd treat the guys to a Steak House meal: an all you can eat and drink buffet for less than a fiver + a big piece of steak. I took a back route alongside a canel to avoid Yuan lin town centre, a route I'd taken a hundred times before on a scooter. But today a dog decided to jump out of a bush and in front of the car with maybe 4 meters to spare. I hadn't pushed down on the peddal before a thump sounded. Funnily enough John had been talking about a rule in the UK, you have to stop if you hit a dog but not if you run over a cat. This went through my mind as I rolled to a stop. I reversed slowly and noticed that there was no dead door in the road. I kept going back. A man in a yard smiled to me "Mwaygwanshee" he said : don't worry! he pointed and there was a dog running around unharmed... still not convinced, I nodded and drove slowly off down the rest of the road.
The steak was good in the Changhua steak house. Jen and John couldn't believe it wasn't more expensive. We ate until the sun went down. Then chilled out listening to music back at the house.
Monday was a lot of packing but not before we'd had a last Chinese buffet in Yuanlin.
We left for the airport with a car so dirty that the electric windows wouldn't open, but the rain washed some off on route. At the airport I was relieved when they took my guitar as hold luggage without a fuss. We'd made such good time that they now had over three hours to kill.
Their holiday had passed so quickly it seemed sureal to be back at the airport so soon. I was wondering what kind of impression they'd taken in of Taiwan.
I was teaching the next day so I stayed for an hour walking round the standard airport shops and drinking in starbucks - the only time it seems right to pay this much for coffee. Then we made our farewells - not too emotional as I'd be seeing them again in a couple of months - and I made my way back to Yuanlin.

The next day I gave the car back; the man said that the insurance paid for the damage to the scooter and the driver... but I had to pay car damage; which including the missing fog light caused by the dog (can't believe he's not dead) was 10,000.... ahhhh. (not pounds)
It would have been cheaper to buy two more scooters than rent the car of doom...
It's all about the adventure!