The original tale from Taiwan

Hello everybody,

For anyone who didn't know, I'm in Taiwan for the next 12 months; should be back next april.

Things are going fairly well, after being searched at customs and having 2 blades that i had denied having confiscated, teh flights were smooth and in 20 hours of flights i got through 3 fish meals (mainly because i dint understand the other options) and 6 or 7 films; none of which were great.

The temperature when i finally got to Taiwan was about 28degrees and a bit of a shock... stripped off about 4 layers ... and then there was a huge sign with Duncan James Smith written on it

Now, in the brouchure, there was a picture of a gorgeous girl ready to collect teachers from the airport, cunning ploy thought i.... but know... there really was a gorgeous girl waiting for me, emma... just happened to be the school manager...brilliant, we spent the 3 hours back to Yuan Lin talking about horoscopes, romantic films and massage parlours... the time flew by.

First day here was a bit mad; came straight to the school dripping in sweat and had a quick intro to the other 5 teachers all of who9m were busy preparing their lessons...

I was then taken to a Taiwanese restuarant demanding the most taiwanese dish on the menu.. guess what? it was full of chili's bloody chilli's! Me an chilli dont get on.

Of course seconds into my meal i had burnt my mouth... I thought lets aviod that bowl and took some fish and stuffed that in my mooth hoping to smother the chili taste, and not realising the fish bowl had a flame under it keeping it hot... ouch!

Second \s later i found myself leavnig my chopsticks sticking up out of the dish, a cardinal sin in taiwan... buts its really easy to do; itsthe shape of the bowls..

Eventually i got back to Pascals (whose house id be staying in for the first 3 days). He claimed it was in the mountains, but a more acurate description would be to say there was a hill behind it... still it was cooler than the city.

I stayed up talknig with Pascal and his flatmate Samantha; realised i hadnt slept in thirty something hours, i went to bed, but not before blocking their downstairs toilet...

I'd like to say we've all done this at some point, but on a first night at a strangers house, not great timing... I tried every hygenic method of unblocking, no effect... next morning, toilet fixed... apparently you just had to keep hold of the handle for a few seconds to flush it properly... v embarrassing!

the second day I woke after 6 hours sleep with the sun and the birds and the heat... deciding that this was not enough, i went for a walk then slept again til 11.

Emma was waiting in a huge 4x4 to take me to Changua for some photos and a medical from the hospital... the photos went fine... the medical went less fine...

under the impression that i would have to give a urine sample, id been drinking enthusiastically all morning and was suitably busting on arrival... the hospital was wierd there were 7or 8 staff on our floor but only one patient; me... it felt a little to perfect, there was a room for weighing, a room for height, a room for xray, a room for blood test.. and a room for the doctor to ask me questions, it was like being in a Bond film- a villains cover up hospital for some multi billion dollar drug smuggling outfit... everything went fine until the blood test.. Being a Man, i looked away grimaced and barely squeeked during the needle part, except when she said 'finished' when she stil had a needle stuck in my arm... it was only when i stood to leave that the clouds came in around me and my hearing went fuzzy... i sat down slowly... the lay on teh bed in the room much to the alarm of the staff... i kept having to persuade them not to take me to A&E... after a couple of mins, i got up despite Emma's warning that i should stay sat... i got half way down the corridor and collapsed again into a chair... the nurses were wetting themselves.... doctor asked me loads of questions about why i nearly feinted... you just took a pint of blood! i was thinking...

on top of all that they didnt need a urine sample... so i had to spend the next 20 mins finding the chinese sign for toilet

Anyway...that evening i went to Changua school to watch Ross 's lesson, a guy i'll be covering for the first week of my teaching, as he's off on hols... so instead of settlin in with my own classes here in Yuan Lin, I'll be train-ing back and forth from Changua... should be fun.

Spent the rest of that evening looking at flats for me to rent- between 80 and 170 pounds a month... some were quite nice but at best they had a fridge and a tv with one room for 100. Thing is Pascal has offered me a room at his place for 80, and its big, its got a kitchen and its fully furnished.... so i think i'll have to take up his offer

This morning (day 3).. well actully i missed teh morning, slept right through it... but was woken up by Emma again, and we went house hunting... again, some really nice houses with great views over Yuan Lin... but too pricey; then this evening ive been watchin classes i'll be taking over when i finish training next week... the students are tiny... most are 7-11 years old, but i will have one kindergarten class of 15; they can barely walk... they're so cute... 'its a yellow banana teacher'

Yuan Lin, by the way is far from rural as we'd been led to believe; most of the buildings are 4 to 8 storey and today i was looking down from a 14 floor apparentment... i'ev seen exaclty one rice paddy since i arrived...

The whole of the east coast is just suburbia... lovely, scooter ridden, but not rural...

Oh im thinking of buying a scooter and a bicycle... i should be able to afford them if i live with Pascal; its about 10 mins to school from his place on bike and 30 mins home again (the hill); should keep me fit! and there's a pool in Yual Lin that has loads of massage bubble chairs, which i'll have to try out.

I'm off to a BBQ with some Expats tonight, i've been warned they're a bit cliky out here but i'm sure itll be fine.